Getting Tested
If you're sexually active, it's a good idea to be tested on a regular basis - often referred to as having a "sexual health MOT". For most people it's recommended that you get checked about once a year, and the easiest way is to go to a GUM (Genito Urinary Medicine) or Contraceptive or Sexual Health Clinic. It's also the best place to go if you have symptoms and want to get something checked out.
There are several benefits of visiting a Clinic, and these include:
- It's free;
- It's completely confidential - you're reduced to a number;
- If you have an HIV test, nobody will know (occasionally insurers will check with GPs to see if their patient has been tested by them, but the clinic is completely separate to your GP);
- Any treatment will be free;
- You will be offered free condoms and contraception.
The easiest way to get an appointment is to use the NEW Cambridgeshire e-triage for Sexual Health Services
Cambridgeshire NHS have developed an online 'e-triage' to connect you to the appropriate sexual health service.
It gives you access to Emergency Contraception, Pregnancy Information, condoms and contraception information, chlamydia screening, and Sexual Health Check-ups.
The nearest clinic is The Laurels on 20 Newmarket Road, Cambridge CB5 8DT
Tel: 08456 50 51 52
To find your nearest GUM clinic if you're not in Cambridge, see here.
Here's a personal account of a visit to the clinic:
There are lots of horror stories about Sexual Health Clinics. I don't know how they get started - Perhaps in the feverishly hypochondriac mind of the typical Cambridge student who thinks too much; in the sordid ignorance of an anonymous internet chat room; or purposefully, by a university society whose sole aim is to spread sexual diseases so as to kill off those getting more than themselves.
Whatever their origin, I am here to dispel those myths by spreading a little truth around, for that will set you free. The people on the other end of the line are very nice, and it is all confidential - You don't even have to give them your real name or address, and all the files are completely confidential and kept within the department, so can never be linked to your personal NHS medical history that your GP has.
Having filled out a few forms (which are very simple and won't require any detailed information like National Health number, National Insurance number or credit card number), you will see a consultant, who will ask you why you've come to the Clinic, and what your sexual history is. Don't be embarrassed about telling them this: They have interviewed so many people, and are really non-judgemental, and will not bat an eye-lid. They just want to know how the details of what kind of sex you have had with people over what period of time, so as to know what to test you for.
If you have led quite a fun life (in the Biblical sense of the word), or probably even if you haven't, they'll do the following tests on you (now for the science part): Throat swab (they stick a little cotton-bud type thing into the back of your mouth, not a problem even for those who haven't learnt to control their gag-reflex); anal swab (which is not painful at all, but I suppose does seem kind of gross); penile swab (yes, they put a swab up your urethra, not very far, stop wincing, it's not that bad!); and some blood tests. I don't really like blood tests, but even I was fine, as the nurses are very understanding and are used to dealing with all sorts of patients. For that reason, don't be embarrassed about them having to see your body and stick it with things - They have seen it all and aren't going to raise any eyebrows or comments like "Gosh, you have a really huge mole on your left buttock".
After these tests (the results for some of which are same day; others, e.g. those for Syphilis and HIV, have to be rung up for later) you have to do the best test of all, which is the urine test! It's hilarious. They tell you not to go to the toilet for about 6 hours before the appointment, but I'd say don't go for about 6 days! You are left in the toilet with two huge jugs, probably stolen from Formal somewhere, and you're supposed to fill them! Actually, I managed it OK, but it still looks quite daunting.
Please take a seat in the waiting room and you'll be called to get your one-day results. After these have been given to you and explained by the consultant, you are free to leave! Until next time, that is?